Turning Pages

I have been trying to put off writing about this for quite a while already. I wanted to break the news with flair, with a bang, however you want to put it.

But well I realize that delaying it is pointless. It will come, and it will happen, no matter if I'm ready or not.

I have resigned from a 5 year semiconductor career. To run after my heart.  :)

It is one of the biggest gambles that I'm taking at this point in my life. But I realize that there's no better time than now to make those risks happen. To actually make things happen.

It's not my first time to apply for a scholarship. My first try was denied by DOST (PCASTRD) because I had failing grades. And that hurt, mainly because I was never a slacker in school. Every singko came with blood, sweat and tears, and for me those were badges of honor of having failed and still not quitting. The second interview, this time for ERDT was equally as daunting for me, no matter how people assured me that the application was easy.

I've been to job interviews, and frankly, the interview for the scholarship felt more nerve-wracking for me. Because for job interviews, I only needed to tell them what I do and how I do it. Modesty aside, we have been trained hella' well and I give credit to our company for that. But the scholarship interview has this frustrating feeling that you need to prove yourself and yet you might still fall short.

October 14, a day before my birthday, I was given one of the happiest birthday gifts - the confirmation that I have been accepted in the list of ERDT scholars for the second semester of 2013-2014. 

Ganap na skolar! :)

That meant I could finally really work in the field that I have always wanted to explore.

That I could gain exposure in the academe and in research while still being paid monthly (it's not much but its enough).

That I can finally finish my masters degree after four years of burning my life out by being a process engineer and a student at the same time (no weekends!)

That I can again have back my time, and gain full responsibility of how I treat my time from now on. No more blaming work, and outside factors. I again, am on my own.

That I am taking a huge gamble of giving up a stable career, in a stable company, for one that I am not yet even familiar with.

Some people don't believe that my sole reason was for school. That I just wanted to quit the warzone. Well, I know for a fact that I'm not the only person who has a love-hate relationship with their jobs. Who doesn’t have issues anyway?

But I will never forget the sensation of feeling right at ease as I step into a manufacturing line packed with hundreds of wirebonding machines, in varied states of green, yellow and red.

I will never forget the warm feeling of walking along the spine and modules, chatting with technicians , operators, supervisors, and fellow engineers. I have to admit that I wasn't exactly the most friendly of the engineers, but those people who I have come to love (you know who you are), I have come to love so dearly. And seeing them makes my heart smile. I like to stop just to smile at them and say hi. It ranges from a simple nod, to a chatter of life and love and random chismis to rants and whatnots.

I will never forget that feeling of security during our staff meetings. When even confronted with a whole long list of problems, I feel confident that we will pull this through because the captain of our ship knows well enough how to handle the ropes, knowing that their tandem of leadership is one that will never leave you hanging, and that you have a powerhouse team of varied strengths, each complimenting the other. That we were trained with a mutual respect for each other.

Oh how time flies when you're inside the line. I've always said that the process engineering skill is a universal one. And I will always be grateful for that.

I've always felt like I have been struggling under the blinding manufacturing lights but it is definitely a struggle I do not regret. No matter how much you want to curse your job, the record-high pressure, the 15-hour-work schedule, the fact that you rarely ever see the sun anymore, the overwhelming expectation to know everything and do everything...deep inside, you cannot deny that there is a natural high to it that only those inside can understand. And that natural high comes with a sense of pride. That we breathe in toxicity and yet we survive everyday. And we laugh and carry on just the same. And we know it gives us our own brand of AWESOME.

Haha I love calling us the Quad Squad lol

Batchmates. Friendships are more amazing here :)

 

I can go on and on and fill the whole web page. But the bottomline is, we all have our journeys. Some journeys go on and on, while others have to end theirs and start new ones. Each to his/ her own. But one thing is for sure, this was a journey that I am very HONORED to have taken.

I am breaking out of my comfort zone, to run after what my heart calls me to do. To try and work on something larger than myself. I know this will not be easy. But it's something worth taking a shot at.

I have to confess though, that I have absolutely no idea just how I will do that. I don't know what to work on after my masters, which company I'll apply to, and et cetera. But I have a feeling that I will figure that out as I go through this.

I have a feeling, that I'm on the cusp of something bigger and more exciting. And that I just need to get my act together. To maximize the opportunity that I've been given.

Just to add, there are so many people who i forgotten in my thank you mail and i'm REALLY sorry :( TIP#1, make sure you complete your clearance way ahead of time it's super tedious and stressful! huhu i should have known! Ngarag ako sobra at super minadali tuloy huhu. Nevertheless, I'm sincerely thankful to everyone and you know who you guys are (and thank you for even reading this far! ang haba e haha!) Kitakits sa paligid!

MMACA isn't be signing off, I'm merely turning pages. ;)

One of the sweetest things ever: shoutout to ma'am ley and sir ye for this! :D